Saturday, 27 March 2010

Now That's What I Call Jesus

'Jesus gave his life for many', the Jehovah's Witness leaflet reads, and sagely asks 'why did he need to do this?' and 'what must you do to benefit from it?' Cynically I expected a request for money, but I was wrong.

Inside, like a cross between an American TV evangelist and a QVC salesman, the author asks 'How did Jesus, by his death, provide a ransom? Why was this necessary? For whom did Jesus lay down his life? And what can his death mean for you?' I'm not sure what they mean by ransom, maybe Jesus was in some financial trouble, too much catalogue debt perhaps, and either killed himself or faked his own death. This might be difficult for some to accept, but we must face the truth, and who better to tell that truth than a religious group?

I was impressed with the artist's impression of Jesus on the back of the leaflet. Interestingly Jesus was a white 6ft American with burly biceps. I would.

I think Jesus fans need to develop some new slogans for the modern era. 'Jesus saves...room for potato salad'. 'Jesus saves...money on his car insurance'. 'Beckham shoots, Jesus saves'. The church really should hire me as their PR man.

Personally I am quite a vigorous atheist, a Dawkins Disciple. The only religious aspects to my life are my pilgrimages to Ikea. Though I suppose I do drink a lot of blood of Christ.

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