Friday, 9 April 2010

My day in letters

Dear Pope Benedict XVI,

I was not abused as a child. Is there something wrong with me?

--

Dear Loud Skanky White Trash on the Train,

I understand that you are going through a particularly difficult time at the moment. It would seem that Steve is dissin you to all his mates init. I'm sure that deep down he doesn't really think you're a 'ball buster', perhaps he has oedipal issues. A course of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy may help him work through these issues. You may also wish to consider if therapy could help with your OCD. Repeatedly saying 'whatever' may reduce your anxiety but it's not healthy.

And get tested, because he probably is cheating on you with 'that bitch'.

--

Dear Lady Gaga,

I have not been telephoning you.

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