iScream

Human: Internet is not working.

iPhone: Are you sure? I have 3G.

Human: The page isn't loading. Is 3G working?

iPhone: Yes it must be; it says so in blue and everything.

Human: It isn't working, look!

iPhone: Hm. Maybe I don't have a 3G signal after all.

Human: Then why the hell does it say you have if you don't have a fucking signal?

iPhone: Maybe there's a pigeon nearby interfering with the signal.

Human: Why are you always lying to me? You always say you have a signal when you don't. I feel like I'm the only one trying in this relationship.

iPhone: I have Bluetooth. And iTunes.

Human: I've had enough of your lies, the endless deceit. Texts that you say you sent but never did. Voicemails I get because you don't ring when people call me. The app updates you just won't fucking install. It's over.

Fin.